07/12/21

Day 341 - Forgiveness

 FORGIVENESS


Prompt - Forgiveness : Write about a time when someone forgave you or you forgave someone


"Hi, Jake here."

"I forgive you."

"What?  Who is this?"

"I said I forgive you.  It's Mark."

"Mark?  Mark who?"

"Mark Ruben."

"Mark Ruben?"

"Yeah.  It's been a long time."

"You mean I know you?"

"Yeah.  But a long time ago."

"Sorry, I'm confused.  How do you think I know you?  And why are you calling me?  What's this forgive nonsense about?"

There was the sound, or was it the sense, of a deep breath at the other end.

"At school.  Primary school.  Drumsheugh."

"Oh.  Right.  Mark.  Mark... what was your surname?"

"Ruben."

"Right.  I remember.  Small and dark.  Glasses."

"That was me.  I'm still small.  Would probably still be dark too."

"Hair going?"

"Gone.  All gone."

"Yeah, well, we all age in different ways.  I'm mostly grey now."

"I know."

"You know?  Why, have you seen me?"

"Yes Jake, I've seen you.  Several times."

"So why didn't you come and say hello?  Why the sudden call?  And where did you get my number from anyway?"

"Angus Lyle.  I forgave him too."

"What?  What is all this?  I mean, I'm sure it's nice to hear from you, but you are acting a bit odd.  If you don't mind me saying so."

"Odd?  Probably.  But I have reasons for that."

"What reasons?"

"What do you remember about me Jake?"

"Err, not a lot.  I remember what you looked like.  Weren't you off school sick for a while?  When we were about eight or nine?"

"That was me.  Can you remember why I was sick?"

"No, not really.  We weren't really friends, were we?"

"No Jake, we weren't really friends.  We weren't friends at all.  I didn't have friends, because you all thought I was different."

"Different?  because you were so small?"

"Because I was so Jewish, Jake."

"Aw, come on, we were kids.  Stuff like that didn't mean anything then."

"It meant enough for you to call me Yid, and keep making jokes about how mean I was.  It meant enough for you to give me a soap pill.  Remember that Jake?  You told me it was a sweet and I thought you'd taken pity on my so I ate it.  Then I threw up all over Mr Thompson's shoes.  Remember that Jake?"

"God yeah, I'd forgotten that.  Jeez, the look on Thompson's face, it was hilarious."

"That's right Jake.  You all laughed.  And he was furious, so he took it out on me.  Gave me the belt."

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten that bit.  Sorry about that, but we were just kids.  It's what kids do, isn't it?"

"And when I got sent home early, with a note for my father, he hit me so hard I fell through a window and broke both legs.  That's why I was off school for weeks, and didn't return until the next term."

"Did you?  I don't remember that bit.  You sure?"

There was a silence, another deep breath.

"No, you probably wouldn't.  Because none of you asked when I did come back.  You just alternated between ignoring me and a bit of Yid baiting."

"Look, Mark, I admit I was a little shit back then, but I can't change history.  So why are you calling me now, after what, thirty five years or something?  What's this about."

"Thirty four years, eight months and sixteen days.  I know this because I remember.  I've never been able to forget.  And I've hated you for all that time.  Until now."

Jake's turn to be silent.

"OK.  I can understand that.  I must have had a bigger impact on you than I ever realised.  I'm sorry that happened.  But why now?"

"I'm dying.  Breast cancer.  That's why I don't know what my hair colour is now, because it's all gone from the chemo.  I'll be dead within six months."

"Jeez, I'm sorry to hear that.  I really am.  That's awful.  So young.  What a..."

"What a what, Jake?"

"I don't know.  I don't know what to say.  But I still don't get while you're calling me after all this time.  Shouldn't you be doing... well, whatever you want to do while you can?"

"But I am Jake.  I'm letting go of all the hate I've carried with me across the decades.  Making my peace with world, so I don't die angry.  That's why I decided to forgive you.  That's why I was in touch with Angus.  The Angus who threw me down the rubbish chute just before we left primary."

"God yeah, I'd forgotten that too.  It was hilarious.  I mean, sorry, it wasn't for you obviously, but I can still see the look on your face as you realised.  Priceless."

"Angus was upset to remember how he'd done that, he was genuinely sorry.  But you haven't really changed, have you Jake?  Still enjoying the misfortunes of others."

"Aw, come on, like I said, we were kids.  It's just a memory, it's not like I'd do something like that now."

"No.  But you're still happy to hurt people, aren't you?"

"What do you mean?  What are you on about?  I think maybe your treatment is making you act a bit strange Mark."

"What am I on about?  Remember I said I'd seen you a few times?"

"Uh huh."

"In Hamburgh Place."  Nothing came back.  "You've gone very quiet Jake."

"So what about Hamburgh Place?  I've been there a few times, so what?"

"You certainly have.  With the lovely Linda."  More nothing.  "You've gone quiet again Jake, why is that?"  Still no response.  "I really did want to forgive you Jake.  And I would have, if you'd shown any real signs of contrition, of recognising just what a little shit you had been to me. But now I don't want to do that.  I'll go with plan B instead."

"Plan B?"  There was fear in Jake's voice.

"I have times.  Dates.  And photos.  Some very interesting photos.  It was a weird coincidence to find that Linda lives opposite my son's place.  He's a floor higher, right across the road.  Amazing what long lenses can pick up these days, isn't it?  Eh Jake?"

"What are you trying to pull here?  Who are you really?"  The fear joined by anger.

"I'm Mark, Jake.  Mark Ruben.  You know I am, don't you Jake?  And you know what I'm going to do.  What do you think Mairi will make of it all Jake?  With one of her oldest friends?  Eh Jake?"

There was a longer silence than any that had gone before.

"You wouldn't dare.  What would be the point anyway?  Why would you want to hurt Mairi?  That's what you'd be doing."

"No Jake, I'll be saving Mairi.  It's you I'll be hurting, isn't it?  I know you know that."

"You bastard.  You wouldn't.  Look, don't, it's not worth it."

"Oh it is Jake.  It very much is.  And I'll be the one at peace with the world.  Goodbye Jake."

End of call.  End of...?  Jake didn't know.  Jake worried.

 


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