03/11/21

Day 307 - Glasses

 GLASSES


Prompt - Glasses : Write about a pair of eyeglasses, or someone wearing glasses


The police are seeking a guy

Who's conning old ladies with charm

Taking their money with stories

But without them coming to harm


Mrs Smith said he was casual

In unremarkable clothes

But he'd big blue Joe 90 glasses

Sat on the bridge of his nose


Mrs Jones said he looked boring

In unremarkable clothes

Other than shocking pink glasses

Perched on the end of his nose


Mrs Green said he looked so bland

In unremarkable clothes

But she remembered his John Lennon glasses

Sitting up high on his nose


They'll never identify me

I'll keep on taking my haul

It's only approaching their doorsteps

That I ever wear glasses at all


02/11/21

Day 306 - Long Distance Love

 LONG DISTANCE LOVE


Prompt - Long Distance Love : Write about a couple that is separated by a distance


It wouldn't have worked out that way nowadays, would it?  But this was over forty years ago.  No mobile phones, no social media, no video calling.  No means of staying in regular touch except by (expensive) landline and the art of letter writing.  In longhand.  On paper.  And putting it into a letter box.  But you try telling that to the kids today....!

So the warning signs weren't there, weren't available.  Which made it all the more surprising when they flooded in on that train journey from Waterloo to Portsmouth Harbour.  With me sitting there wondering if she could see them too?

Annie and I had met at a party about two and a half years before, where she'd drunkenly started playing footsie with me under the table, then proceeded to drag me on to the dance floor and drape herself around me, admitting no others, before keeping a tight grip on my arm and taking me along to her flat.  I wasn't going to argue, because she was gorgeous (too gorgeous for me?) and I'd liked her as soon as I'd seen her.  

This happened only two months before I was due to leave Edinburgh and head off to live more than four hundred miles to the south.  I was, at least, honest with her about that.  So the relationship felt doomed from the start, and perhaps that made it more frenetic than it might otherwise have been.  I'd been looking forward to my big move, but Annie spoiled that - suddenly I had a good reason to remain.  Twas not to be though.

We parted with sadness and joy, and thought we'd only ever be friends.  But the connection persisted.  Six weeks after I left I fell ill.  With glandular fever, the disease Annie had only just recovered from when we first met.  They call it 'the kissing disease', and we'd certainly done a lot of that.  When I was finally well enough to return back home we met again, at another party, got talking, and conversation turned to our shared experience of unwellness.  It brought us close again and, somehow or other, I found myself back in her bed.  But it still felt doomed.

Nonetheless we stayed in touch more frequently, and when I came returned for the second time we spent a lot of time together, and decided that we were a couple after all.  Of sorts.  This was continued on my next trip up, even though there were many months between each.  And talk turned to having a holiday together, to find out just how much this relationship was worth.  Money was tight, camping was the answer.  I lived in warmer climes, so that would be our starting point.

The plan came together as Winter dawdled past, Spring rushed by, and Summer arrived.  I'd got together all the gear we needed, identified likely sites for pitching.  She'd come down to London on the train, I'd go up to meet her, we'd come back down together.  The letters got steamier, the phone calls longer, my sighs louder and excitement greater.  And then I was on my way.  But.

Something didn't feel right, and I had no idea what it was.  Until Kings Cross.  She came off the platform.  She looked the same.  Smiled the same, walked the same, looked pleased to see me same.  But.  But there was no response from inside.  I made myself smile, say the right things, hug tightly, but it had become more performance than passion.  The train trip down proved that whatever was there had gone AWOL, and at the worst possible moment.  I didn't want to spend a week in a tent with this woman.  After eight months if thinking of just that, for large portions of every single day.  How could that happen?

I had no answer.  Nor could I keep the performance for long.  She stayed two nights, and I saw her off on the train to London.  We'd be sort-of friends for a while after that, but I'd hurt her badly and within a year I'd seen her for the last time.

These memories don't come back to often, but when they do I feel such guilt, such anguish for causing pain and handling it so badly.  Would I have been able to do things better with today's technology?

Would I?

01/11/21

Day 305 - Fruit

 FRUIT


Prompt - Fruit : Write an ode to your favourite fruit


Oh glorious bundle of globules from the Perthshire fields

Such a unique shade of red gone pink you have given your name

To the colour of our sofa, of the soft silk suit my wife once wore,

And, strangely, to the sound of a ripping fart.


I love how you leave your heart behind when picked

Sliding from your inner cone into my waiting fingers

Giving your life for mine, as if you wished to be a martyr

And serving the purpose of your life


You can be popped straight into the mouth, exploding with flavour

Or taken home to transform yourself into jams and desserts and cakes

Or mixed with your fellow fruit into a glorious bedlam of colour and taste

Where you reign supreme, both sweet and gloriously wersh


Bring on the summer, bring your freshness back, I await your return

For now, as Autumn hints at winter, you have such short shelf life

As not to be what you once were, temptation no longer oozing out

But you will be back again, and soon

31/10/21

Day 304 - On the TV

 ON THE TV


Prompt - On the TV.  Flip to a random TV channel and write about the first thing that comes on, even if it is an infomercial!


I didn't even know there was a channel called 'Forces TV'.  Presumably aimed at the British military?  I'd just missed their version of the News, which might have been interesting, in time for a double bill rerun of a very old American TV series.  One I'd never seen before, although I'd heard the name, and which I've been told was largely aimed at children.  What this says about the UK's service personnel I'm not too sure...

The programme was ChiPs, which I understand is an acronym for California Highway Patrol.  From the cars I saw I'd reckon it was made in the late seventies or early eighties.  I'd also guess that a lot of these programmes were made, as the production values looked to be on the cheap side.

What I saw of this episode (only about ten minutes, as I had to make the dinner, but I doubt I could have stood much more anyway) showed a very conventional, very 'safe' US drama-entertainment.  One of the first shots, an ariel view, showed an ocean liner firmly docked to the sun drenched quay, which tod me this was Long Beach and the boat the Queen Mary.  They seemed to be very proud of having it as a backdrop because I lost count of the number of times it cropped up in that short period of time.

One thing was quickly evident.  The cast, or at least the 'good guys' were all conventionally pretty, all slim and athletic and tanned, all as bland as the beige they were clad in.  I didn't recognise any of them, but that could be because they didn't get a lot of work after this.  They were awful, although trying to make anything of the stilted dialogue might have given Olivier problems too.  

The plot seemed to centre on a visiting Hungarian delegation, and a minor robbery that took place at the same time.  Within five minutes we had something vaguely resembling a car chase, with the blue car of the robbers being pursued by the huge motorbike of one of the policemen.  Despite the car proceeding at what looked a fairly sedate pace, judging from the vehicle's body language, the powerful bike couldn't catch them and gave up the pursuit when they went into a car park and 'disappeared'.  The bike rider didn't move with much urgency either, but too great a speed might have messed up his hair...

As well as the dreadful script, the backing music was dire - formulaic and distracting - while the sets looked on the shoddy side.  Although I did notice that following ChiPs came Blake's 7 - vastly superior acting and plots, but even worse sets!)

I guess squaddies aren't renowned for their critical faculties...


30/10/21

Day 303 - Go Fly a Kite

 GO FLY A KITE


Prompt - Go Fly a Kite : Write about flying a kite


The girl watched raptly as her father laid the box on the grass, opened it, and carefully removed each of the contents and laid them down for her to see.  As he did so he kept up a constant commentary on what the objects he handled were called, and their purpose, looking across to her regularly to check that his words were being absorbed and understood.  She didn't say anything, but nodded from time to time.

Then came the construction process.  There was a point where he invited her to connect one part to another, but she shook her head, frowning as she did so, and he accepted her decision.  Thought that her enthusiasm would surely flood out once the point of the exercise was realised.

With everything, done, and the ensemble double checked for any possible weak points, he announced they would now test it out for real.  His enthusiasm for the moment wasn't in doubt, but she still did nothing more than nod.  He set up a small launch platform, the flat surface of the box raised on a pile of stones he'd collected, ensuring that there would be no snagging when he attempted to get airborne.  Then he wound out about six metres of string from the bobbin and looked around, once more. for potential obstacles.  A pointless exercise as he'd selected the site, free from trees and cables and with few birds around, weeks ago.  

His eyes shone with excitement as he looked across at his daughter.  She had closely observed everything he did, but never asked a question or made a comment.  He had hoped she'd be more involved, couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong, but decided to go ahead with the big moment, sure that she would be captivated once the kite was in the air.  

"Watch now, this is how we get it to fly."  She nodded again, still soundless.  He licked the forefinger of his left hand, held it to the mild breeze, looking in command of the situation.  "We do that to test the strength and direction of the wind."  She already knew this, but nodded politely, looking to humour him.

He waited for a bigger gust than most, then launched himself downhill, a perilous move when done backwards, his unsteadiness adding to the drama of the moment.  She watched him turn into a stuttering marionette, so unlike his usual smooth presence, and only turned her head skywards when he cried out "Look!  Look!".  There was the kite, swinging side to side, bobbing up and down, jerking in response to the variations in the wind, and getting higher as he fed out the string.  "Isn't it beautiful?  Isn't it?"  His enthusiasm was bursting from every movement of his body, and she wondered who was meant to be the child here?  Who was this for?

He called her down to him, offered to let her hold the bobbin, with his help of course, to feel the power of flying an object so far above where they stood.  But she turned him down.  Told him she was happy watching and that she liked to see him enjoy himself.  So he did.  Puzzled and frustrated, but not so much that his childish joy could be suppressed.

Eventually he knew he had to stop, put it all back in the box, go home.  In the car she finally spoke.

"Thanks Daddy, I enjoyed that."

"Did you?  Really?  But why didn't you want to join in?"

"When I fly it won't be like that."

"What will it be like then?"  He hadn't heard her talk like this before.  Or had he not been paying attention?

"I'll be the kite, not the kite flyer.  The falcon, not the falconer.  Do you understand?"  He didn't, not really, but he said yes, of course he did, and they drove home.

Later he related the events of the day to his wife, wondering if she had any idea what their daughter had meant about kites and falcons?

"She's going to be a pilot.  How didn't you know that?"

How indeed.

29/10/21

Day 302 - Clutter

 CLUTTER


Prompt - Clutter : Is there a cluttered spot in your home?  Go through some of that clutter today and write about what you find or the process of organising


I have piles.  Piles of paper mostly, but sometimes the piles will contain bits of IT kit, or envelopes, or plastic, or surprising rubbish.  Most of it is my room, my study, so that it is at least contained.  But there's always a pile of papers on the kitchen table, and there will be some detritus on my bedside cabinet (and, to be fair, on top of the cabinet on the other side of the bed, albeit, to less messy ends).  And my desk... is a mess.  At present it, and floor of this room, are both considerably better than they were a few weeks ago, before I installed the new desktop PC, a process that forced me into having a tidy up.  At last.

So I looked at the remaining piles of paper on the floor, for the purposes of this exercise.  That means ignoring, for now, the other piles in this place.  Which includes an ancient hard drive of no further possible use; a couple of cardboard boxes awaiting some of the many CDs and books I have found the resolve to throw out (and donate to a wonderful second-hand shop on Leith Walk); tow old briefcases that contain I know not what, although I think one is music related; a couple of boxes that I don't really need any more; and, worst of all, a big spread of jars and paints and files (the rasping kind) and books and tape and the box and the 2CV model kit that was in the box, partially completed for months and now very dusty...

Which is why it was easier to opt for the paper on the floor.  Only two small piles.  The first contained some banking documents.  A couple relating to an old account which I think is now closed (but I should make sure...), the rest to signing up to manage some financial investments online.  I did try before, but the website was Byzantine, and ended up defeating me.  I should try again.

The second pile was much easier to deal with.  Most of it was papers relating to a class I helped run for new volunteers at Advocard.  By the time I do it again (if I do it again) it will be out of date.  that will go into the recycling when I go downstairs in a few minutes.  The only other item in the pile was an old A4 notebook, partly filled with notes for minutes when I was on the AdvoCard board - a long time ago.  It did see some use recently, when I was working through the Kickstarter projects I've backed for a piece I was writing, and also some basic notes for a poem I wrote several weeks ago.  I have found a novel place for the book now, fitting perfectly into the gap between the box on the wall to my right, which I use as a device charging station, and the bookcase beside it.  So the room is a little tidier as a result of having to do this exercise.  Now I should do something similar to the rubbish on the desk....

28/10/21

Day 301 - This Old House

 THIS OLD HOUSE


Prompt - This Old House : Write about an old house that is abandoned or being renovated


Three months.  It didn't sound long if you said it quickly, looked at in the context of a lifetime, and if you managed to ignore the rest of the sentence.  Four months living with my parents.  That was full story, and it sounded like a lifetime within a lifetime.  But we knew it was the only way to realise our dream.  Assuming our marriage didn't crumble under the strain.

Ever since we'd first talked about living together we'd had a vision of the home we wanted to bring our kids up in.  Some rambling Victorian pile with four of five bedrooms, three of four reception rooms, one of them being a library of course, a big welcoming kitchen and a bathroom with space for a massive, original, claw foot bath in the middle of the floor.  And we'd found it, only a year after the wedding.  Victorian and rambling for sure.  Five bedrooms upstairs, along with a huge bathroom.  Three big rooms and a massive kitchen downstairs, with plenty space under the stairs for a shower room.  Affordable.  Very affordable.  And there was the catch.  

It needed work doing.  Some of it could be done over a period of years.  But it still needed a lot doing to it simply to become habitable.  The place had been empty for years, utterly neglected, hence the bargain price, and the plumbing and electrics needed to be done from scratch.  No toilet, no power, some unsafe floors, and we wanted to knock through from dining room to kitchen to create a big welcoming area to entertain in.  We had to sell our wee flat to buy it, and we couldn't afford to rent while the work was being done.  So this was the solution.  We'd stay with my parents, who were only two streets away, while the all the really major work got done, and the wreck became at least the outline of a home, and then we'd move in and carry on with our own plans.  Most of this initial phase required professionals, so we wouldn't be able to spend much time in there until it was done.  That was the catch.

It's not that I don't like my folks.  But ever since I left home the relationship has been strained, and Mum is one of those who thinks that no girl could ever be good enough for 'her boy', so Sarah has a hard time of it.  It would bb bad enough for me, worse for her.  But we agreed it was worth seeing through, teeth firmly gritted, to achieve our goal.


The work was progressing well, so well that it looked like we might even get in ahead of schedule.  Floors repaired and made safe, plumbing installed, damp sorted out.  Most of the electrics done too.  But there was one big job to come that could turn this positive picture around.  Knocking down the kitchen wall would be messy, and the builder was concerned that the wall seemed to be thicker than he'd normally expect.  They'd have to make a start on it before they could determine why.


Turned out that there had been a false wall installed on the dining room side.  So well done that it hadn't been immediately obvious.  Why had someone done that?   The first skull to turn up provided a strong clue...


As well as a big shock to the poor guy making the discovery.  The builder called the police, the uniforms called the detectives, and suddenly our wannabe home was a crime scene.  The first we knew was the police coming to my parents' door in the early evening, asking to see us.  Once we'd been talked through the discovery, which was shock enough, we were told that work in the house would have to be suspended.  Indefinitely.  Which answered our next question, and not in the way we hoped for.  We would have to wait.


And wait.  One skull turned into a full skeleton turned into three.  Plus a couple of boxes of documents.  Every time we asked for information we were told to wait until the full story was available.  Every time we asked the word 'indefinitely' still appeared somewhere in the reply.  It took more than six weeks for the house to be returned.  By which time our builders were on another job and it would be at least three weeks before they could return.  They had all our money so what could we do but wait?  We went into the house a few times ourselves, hoping to be able to do something useful, but there was little could be done, with the threat of dust clouds from the impending wall demolition a serious hindrance to any cosmetic activities.  And there were still reporters sniffing around, keen to ask questions we weren't keen to answer.  

The story emerged bit by bit.  The house had once been the home of an elderly woman who had died without direct heirs.  Somehow the system managed to fail to the point where ownership was undecided and the property left to decline.  This proved useful to the owner of a chain of betting shops, who lived a few doors away, when he had some bodies to dispose of - members of a syndicate that had tried to cheat him out of millions.  Under the guise of doing some safety work, his men went in and built the false wall, the bodies, and the details of their activities, hidden away from interested parties.  We had bought into a major murder story.

The builders returned, eventually.  More work than expected, what with the false wall and the damage done by the police forensics people.  But they got there.  Eventually.


It was a terrible tale, a horrendous crime.  We hated that bookie.  Three months had turned into six, and Sarah and my mother may never speak again.


27/10/21

Day 300 - Battle

 BATTLE


Prompt - Battle : Write about an epic battle, whether real, fictional or figurative



The general put down the phone and looked around at the tense, expectant faces in the bunker's command room.  He both did and didn't want to say what he knew he had to say, for he would have liked further time to consider the implications for himself, but time was now like the last of the sands in the timer.  Running out, moving faster and faster.

"That was the president."  A redundant statement, for they all knew was the only person who could have called.  But they also knew he said it to give himself time to phrase what came next.  And, like him, they both did and didn't want to hear it.

"There are Chinese missiles heading for the US west coast, and for southern Europe.  We are awaiting news of how many, if any, make it through our outer anti missile defences.  As soon as this is known a decision on launching will be taken and conveyed to us.  In the meantime we are to arm and ready all missiles targeted on the Chinese mainland.  Jack, take the necessary steps to convert all silos into immediate launch readiness."

Jack, aka Colonel Grubaur,  swiftly, efficiently, unthinkingly gave the orders that enacted the order he'd been given.  One step at a time, with double checks on systems after each step.  It took twenty four minutes from the command being issued to a complete state of readiness.  The Colonel went back the General, saluted, and said exactly what he was supposed to say.

"All silos are now open, missile command launch sequences initiated and held ready for immediate action, all warheads are armed and targeting confirmed, sir."

"Thank you Jack.  And now we wait.  I'll address the command."  The General moved over to the internal comms desk, asked the operator for a mike patched through to the entire bunker.  He took a deep breath and began his address.

"Ladies and gentlemen, no need for formality now.  We all know each other well, and we all know exactly why we're here and how we got to this position.  Those of you not in the command room at present will have heard the noises and know exactly what they mean.  On the orders of the Commander in Chief we have now opened all silos, and both missiles and warheads are in a state of immediate readiness.  You will be wondering what happens next."  He paused, trying to find the right words.  "And that all depends on the next call I receive.  We are all in this together, and I think we should all hear the news at the same time. All personnel please make their way to the command room as soon as possible.  You should know what there is to know as soon as I know it."

There was a mild ripple of approval around the room, the others in full agreement that everyone on the base should be there to share the fateful moment.  And so they made space, moved what could be moved, as a further fifteen people steadily entered, nodded, took their stance.  

"Feel free to talk among yourselves, there's nothing more to be done for now.  But I want complete silence the moment that phone rings."  The General looked meaningfully at Warrant Officer Lachowitz, who snapped to attention and saluted to show his understanding, to be given a warm nod in return.  Lachowitz moved closer to the phone receiver.  

The phone rang, Lachowitz bellowed, and thirty two pairs of eyes turned on the General.  he picked up the red instrument, put it to his ear, stated his name rank and name.  And listened.  He didn't have to listen for long, but while he did his eyes stared up at the ceiling, well away from any possible contact with others.  His face remained passionless, his lips thin.

"Colonel Grubaur."

"Sir!"

"initiate firing sequence on all missiles, immediately."

"Yes sir."  Grubaur gave only three short orders.  The second almost immediately following the first, the third taking him a little longer, as he absorbed the immensity of his words.  He walked back to the General.  "All missiles launched sir."  With the crispest of salutes.

"Thank you Jack."  He looked around the room, looked at the varied expressions of stoicism, disbelief, fear.  "We have all done our duty here, and enacted the orders of the Commander in Chief.  God bless America.  Other than the tracking team you may all stand down.  I'll let you know what I know when I know it."

There were muttered thank you sirs as the group broke up, voices soft and contemplative.  Everyone left to their own thoughts.  

Most shared the same thought as the General.  'This is how the end of the world begins.'

26/10/21

Day 299 - Concrete

 CONCRETE


Prompt - Concrete : Write about walking down a sidewalk and what you see and experience


It's a warm day for late October, and yet another minor piece of evidence towards the impending disasters of climate change.  But it's cloudy too, a bit breezy, and there's a hint of moisture in the air that suggests rain isn't too far off.  I've left the green expanse of the Links, which now spreads out to my right, and walk along a tree lined stretch that offers many parked cars, imposing old terraced housing on the other side, and a pathway which requires careful observation, for I know from past experience that there are many cracks and uneven surfaces due to tree roots breaking through.

There's a small group of people, of mixed ages, stood by the bus shelter across the road.  They look upwards to smile, not at me, but into the phone camera one of them holds in her hand.  A selfie?  Here?  Must be tourists.  Perhaps that's their guest house behind, for there are many such along this road.

I move on, the grass either side laced with the fallen brown leaves of Autumn.  A few cars go by in either direction.  I look for a gap, and make my way across to the other side, the residential side, squeezing past a baby blue Fiat 500.  On this side the pavement is more even, a little wider, making it easier to keep a decent distance from oncomers in these covidy times.  Street furniture provides the signage of urban environments, a traffic sign informs drivers of revised traffic lights ahead, a school nearby.  Low on the wall to my left a street name - Hermitage Place - sits beneath railing on which the residents have displayed No Parking In Front Of Gates.  Maintaining access to a drive must be difficult in a street that sees so many residents, holidaymakers and commuters parking nose to tail.  

I'm approaching the junction now, where the road I'm on meets three others, but in a pattern that renders traffic management more complex than at a simple crossroads.  The end of the Links, the green, to my left is coming, just past that bus stop across the road, and I can see, ahead and to the right, the imposing red brick structure that is now flats, but was once Leith Academy school, where my mother attended way back in the thirties and forties.  Awaiting the buses two women sit in the shelter, one at each end, both intently looking at their phone screens.  A sign of the times.

The lights are at red, but the crossing indicator is green so I speed up to get across before the change, carefully avoiding the path of a man pushing a baby buggy, clearly on a mission to get wherever he's going as soon as possible.  There are more people here, mostly in something a bit waterproof, for the threat of rain is increasing.  Two teenage boys, in the curious black tracksuity outfits that are some kind of age-denoted uniform, cross in front of me.  Once on the other pavement I pause to look along Duke Street, an electric car crossing my field of view, looking incongruous against the old world of the old school.  A bus turns the corner, almost empty of passengers, while two lines of car wait their turn to cross the junction.  I continue up Easter Road, the wind feeling stronger in my face, but still with that mildness to it.  A blonde woman in a green coat stands to the side, in conversation with the phone held to her right ear.  Ahead of me a woman keeps stopping to check on her dog, which is reluctant for keep up with her, tugging against the lead.  On the street to my right the traffic has begun queuing at the red light, including another near-empty double decker.  Past them I look on the entrance to the Tesco car park.  It doesn't look too busy in there.

Past the pub with the hanging basket, I look for a way past between the woman with the recalcitrant dog, and a stolid hooded walker in grey.  The dog forces her to stop once again and I go out into the street to pass, but she reasserts her authority over the pooch so that we are no moving in parallel.  I speed up, slow briefly to check that the side street is clear, then move on.  The woman/dog combo is held up by two big women with prams blocking the pavement, but I stay in the gutter to get past the bus stop, where there are several people hanging around.  A move not quite without danger, for one of those electric scooters whizzes past close to my right elbow, with no sign of respect for people or the law.

But I'm back on the pavement again, and there are few others walking this way.  Past blocks of flats, with a solitary sign showing that one has been sold, past the roadworks on the opposite side.  Ahead there's a tall man in black clothes, grey beanie, sitting astride a bike while he checks something on his phone.  His sunglasses incongruous on this greyest of days.  He doesn't look up as I pass.  Seconds later another man walks towards me wearing, yes, sunglasses.  What's going on here?

At least the DPD delivery driver, now walking across to his double-parked van, looks more sutied to the day.  He drives past me soon after.  The flats on either side are older tenements now, solid and reassuring.  A man in a parka goes past with arms swinging military style.  On the other side I young man is hanging out of a first floor window.  He shakes something - I can't make out what it is - then puts both hands akimbo on the sill and looks up and down the street.  Does he know I'm recording him?  The window to his left is wide open too.  Has somebody burned the toast?

I walk on.  A man approaches holding his phone horizontally to his face, in conversation.  I have never understood the fashion for using a phone this way, when it's so much easier held up to the ear.  I am old school.  I've caught up the the DPD van, parked little more than a hundred meters from where I saw it before, and the driver comes round to open the rear door as I pass, checking his device for whatever it is he is to deliver.  Just then a siren sounds.  I'd seen the flashing blue lights approaching in the distance, and here's the ambulance that owns them, threading through cars that have stopped to make way.  I hope that whoever they are going to, or carrying, will be OK.

The traffic resumes, so do I.  Past a corner shop, past another dog walker, the wind getting stronger.  A woman comes towards me, head down and serious of expression, wearing a green hoodie.  Spread out across her enormous chest are the words Staley Falcons, which later research tells me is a US baseball team.  She certainly doesn't look the athletic type...

My boots keep me going onwards.  I pass a young woman, masked, trying to get key into the lock of a red tenement door.  She isn't having much luck, but when I look back seconds later she's gone.  In presumably.

More flashing lights ahead, yellow this time, as a Highways truck pulls up by the kerb to my right, and men in high vis clothing emerge to do whatever their task is.  Now the rain has come though, and I quicken my step, seeking shelter.  A woman comes around the corner, pulling a fur lined hood tight about her head.  One more side road to cross, between two red cars waiting to turn, past the bus shelter, past two women who shout unintelligible farewells, one to head down the hill from whence I came, the other returning to the warmth of her flat.  The rain gets heavier and now getting to my destination is all that matters.  There's traffic, there's road signs, there's people, but all I can see now is the car park of Lidl and a place out of the sudden downpour.  Time to go shopping.



25/10/21

Day 298 - In the Moment

IN THE MOMENT


Prompt - In the Moment : Write about living in the present moment


Do your poo and post it in, learn to live each day as if it were the last.  That was my lesson.

I had been feeling a bit listless for a while, but thought little of it.  With ageing comes a gentle deterioration of the body, and a gentle (sometimes) incrementation of weariness and laissez-faire.  That's how life goes.  I didn't worry because otherwise I felt in the best shape I'd been for some time, with minor ailments banished and pains kept at bay.  But I did my bowel screening test as requested because, well, because you never know.

It's not the most enjoyable of processes, and needs a prism of humour to make it more palatable.  Taking your own stool sample requires a bit of twisting and manipulation, and extreme caution for, even though it's mine, I had no wish for more contact with the substance than was absolutely necessary.  The humour comes in contemplating the recipient.  Who went to their school careers advisor and said they'd love to have a job where they got to run tests on human excrement?  Nobody... so how do they end up there?  It's definitely one of the short straw jobs, unless you have a very specific sexual quirk!

So off it went, to be thought no more off until the letter comes back to say that the poor old tester has found nothing of interest.  Except that the letter, which returned surprisingly swiftly, didn't say that.  Instead I found myself at the beginning of a process leading who knew where?  They'd found some blood traces and would I like to submit myself to having a camera stuck up my arse?  Not exactly their wording, but I the mental picture was unavoidable.  I certainly wouldn't 'like' to, but did realise I ought to.  It was probably nothing, perhaps just a few haemorrhoids, but better safe as they say.  

So in I go and I they get the camera inside me and it's a weird sensation, not just the internal feel of the probe, but being able to see the results on screen.  I don't think Channel 4 will be buying it, but I have to confess to being fascinated with this glimpse into my own insides.  But if they'd offered me the DVD...

The most fascinating bit was when they came across the source of my little problem.  Not for me the innocence of swollen veins.  The camera quite cleared pointed out the sanguinary flow that had sounded the alarm bells.  A little growth close to the top end of the colon.  Which might, or might not, involve use of the C word.

That takes you aback, especially when you've been feeling so good.  It's one of those most emotive of terms that can't help but trigger a multiplicity of reactions and ponderings and fears.  Unashamed fears.  

Which were, somewhat bizarrely, slightly assuaged by the confirmation that cancerous was indeed the diagnosis.  Because certainty is easier to deal with.  And the liberal use of words like 'early stage' and ' straightforward' gave back some of the lost confidence.  From then on events moved swiftly, and soon the missives bearing the big blue letters of the NHS were coming regularly.  A pre op.  A covid test.  And the big day itself.  All was explained, questions were answered, stats rolled out.  The 'major' in front of 'surgery' was a bit of a blow, but aided down by words like 'routine' and 'low risk'.  The stats backed it up, with the added pointer that when things did go a bit wrong it was for people with additional risk factors - obesity, age, other health problems - which were categories I didn't fit.  

The came, the day went, and I was, to my surprise, fully aware, in no pain, and even looking forward to being told to get up the next day.  Initial progress was rapid, and while the long path to full recovery has the odd bump in it, and takes a few rough corners, it has a clear destination.  Fully operational once more, back to fitness, ready for life.  

I could say "I can't wait".  But I can.  Best to take it day by day, don't rush the process, and savour the small wins that crop up with regularity.  From the first poo to the first cafe outing.  From slow eater to ravenous wolf. Those times will come.  But I have learned that it's today that matters.  Do what's possible, seek the joys, be yourself.  Live for the moment.

Day 365 - Congratulations

 CONGRATULATIONS Prompt - Congratulations : Did you write a poem, short story, or journal entry every day for a whole year?  Write about wha...