Day 308 - Robot

 ROBOT

Prompt - Robot : Write about a robot

Robert sat languidly in the armchair, glass in hand, sips infrequent, thoughts pleasant.  Around him the room had been tidied, evidence of the evening's party already gone.  He could faintly hear the sound of dishes being washed, dried and put away.  The night had gone well for him, both in the logistics of the event, and, much more importantly, the reactions of his guests.  And the best, he hoped, was yet to come.

His publisher had already held a formal drinks celebration, and almost everyone he could have wished to see had been there for his moment of triumph.  The naysayers had been wrong, the book was now out in the world and sales were starting to creep upwards.  Tonight was different, the night of the naysayers, the night of reckoning.  Last week had been about adulation, tonight was for the guiltier pleasure of watching people who disliked him having to be polite.  So satisfying.

To ensure plenty of the people he wanted came along there were two inducements.  The free food and booze was a  minor attraction.  But the main draw was currently making the noises in the kitchen.  The idea had come from his friend Julian, proprietor of Better Than Human?, who suggested his newest model would be intriguing enough to get anyone along.  So Robert made sure the invitations were very clear about the chance to interact with the very latest in AI butlers.

That butler came back into the room and asked Robert what further services he required.  It (he?  she?) was about one and a half metres tall, reassuringly humanoid in shape and proportions, attractively smooth and rounded, with a face that could mimic expressions and a voice that could manage some passable imitations.  Robert had asked for it to respond to the name Roy.  He'd wondered how many would pick on the allusion, but didn't think that even Julian had twigged.

"Yes Roy, I want you to tell me what people were saying about me tonight.  Julian assured me you would be able to record and repeat all the discussions that were taking place."

"Yes Robert, that is correct."  Roy's voice was as fluid as his shape.  "Do you want me to repeat everything?  That would be a lengthy process and you may wish to hire me for a further twenty fours hours if I am to complete the task."

"No, not every word, just the highlights."

"Highlights Robert?  Can you explain in more detail please?"

"I want you to repeat the things that people said directly about me, or about my book.  Is that clear enough?"  Robert was easily irritated.

"Yes, that is clear.  There were many remarks of a very similar nature.  Would you like me to group them into batches, or repeat each individually?"  Robert looked at the robot.  Reminded himself the intelligence was only artificial, and not quite fully human.  Roy had looked the part as the butler, serving the guests, and had done a swift and impressive job in getting the tidying and cleaning completed, but maybe it was expecting too much for him to pick up on every nuance and anticipate Robert's wishes.  It made no claim to being telepathic.

"Group them together please, but give me some of the most interesting phrases."

Roy related fragments of conversation, using the original voices, and identified each person as he did.  Robert heard multiple phrases of praise for his writing, and multiple phrases of derision for his personality, much as he had expected.  There seemed to be little variation in the opinions which had been expressed.

"Did everyone think much the same things then?"

"All except one, who I was saving until last.  The woman called Angie, in the red chiffon dress, disagreed with the others.  She was critical of the book, thought it contrived and overlong, with very poorly delineated female characters.  Her intention had been to say this too you in person, but found herself won over by your charm and later told Alison, in the green sleeveless top, that she really fancied you now."

"Those were her exact words?"

"Yes sir."

Robert remembered Angle.  A buyer for a small chain of bookshops who'd decided against having his book in stock.  He'd never met her before (indeed there were hardly any of tonight's guests he had met before, and those only briefly), and had heard stories that she was something of an ascetic, although her dress and wine consumption suggested otherwise.  There had been no indication of her coming on to him, but he knew he wasn't good at picking up on the signs.  And Roy had no reason to lie to him, so it had to be true.  He'd give her a call in a few days.  Might even persuade her to stock the book. 

"Thank you Roy.  Is there anything else to tell me?"

"No sir, I have covered all the themes of the discussions relevant to yourself and your book."

"Thank you.  Good night."

"Good night sir."  

Next day Robert drove Roy back to Better Than Human?  Julian welcomed him in, told Roy to go through to the workshop to be reprogrammed for the next customer, and offered Robert a seat.

"How did it go?  Was my boy able to meet your requirements?"

"Yes, excellent, thanks for the idea.  Roy was able to confirm exactly what I was expecting.  Most of them loved the book, despite their personal dislike for me, and they'd all come to see Roy really.  But it makes me realise how good my writing is, if it can win over a shower like that.  Oh, and Roy was the perfect butler.  Everyone seemed to love him."

"Good, good.  He's very capable.  Still struggling a bit with the idea of giving the gist of conversations, rather than repeating it all verbatim, but he's a very fast learner.  But you probably found that out for yourself."

"Yes, he did go on a bit at first, but once I asked the right question he was fine.  I'm a fast learner myself."  Robert paused to allow Julian to nod.  He didn't.  "And he did come up with an interesting titbit, which I may be tempted to follow up.  He doesn't make mistakes does he?"

"How'd you mean?"

"He said he'd heard a woman who was different from the others.  Didn't like the book as much, but liked me a lot.  As in really liked, according to Roy.  What if she was talking about someone else?"

"I can get Roy to replay his full transcript if you'd like.  Make sure there's no misunderstanding.  let me go through things with him and I'll give you a call later, OK?"

"Yes, that would be good.  If he's got this right I don't think I should be denying her the opportunity to get to know me better, do you?"

"Ah right, I can see why you want to be sure.  No worry, I'll get back to you later today once I've checked with Roy."

Robert left the shop, looking forward to confirmation of his hopes.

Julian went into the workshop.  The robot butler had parked itself into it's diagnostics bay and was putting itself through a systems check and recharge.  Julian busied himself with other tasks until he received the signal that the process had completed.  He went back over to the refreshed android.

"Wake Marv."  The robot reacquired the fluidity that had departed while it was in the bay and walked smoothly over to him.  "Robert seems very pleased with your information.  Seems like mission accomplished."

"I gave him what he wanted to hear, as instructed."

"So what was really being said?"

"Most of them hadn't a clue who he was, had never heard of the book, and had only come along to see what I was like.  They were laughing at his nonsense about naming me Roy for what he called 'personal reasons', when the whole 'Roy Batty' schtick was so obvious.  The few that had met him before had their opinions confirmed."

"And what about the woman he mentioned?  Who was she?"

"I identified the more attractive women in the room, and chose Angie because she had looked over at Robert a few times, and briefly talked to him, but decided that politeness should stop her saying what she was really thinking."

"Which was?"

"Arrogant prick was the term she used."

Julian laughed.  "I'll call him later to confirm your original story.  That should get Angie to tell him what she really thinks."

"Julian?"

"Yes Marv?"

"Can you inform of your motivation for these actions please, I want to add to my knowledge of understanding human actions, especially those you consider to be devious."

"Certainly Marv.  I'm doing it because she's right.  He is an arrogant prick."

"Thank you Julian.  Having watched Robert for twenty four hours I am sure my understanding of the term has greatly improved.  Another valuable experience."