Day 292 - Job Interview

 JOB INTERVIEW

Prompt - Job Interview : Write about going on a job interview

It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life.  I'd seen the ad, needed the work, what could be simpler?  "Van Diver Needed - must be experienced"  And then the contact details.  Diver?  Lol!  It pays to check for typos.  But clearly what they wanted was a driver, and I had the experience coming out my fetlocks.

So in I go and it's just that bit odd from the start.  Two guys, one woman, all around thirty.  I'd expected to be shown into an office, maybe sat down, but they took me through what was clearly a lived in home, and through to a big shed at the back.   There was all kinds of junk in there, but they took me into a corner where a big tarpaulin covered a lumpy looking pile.  Pulling back the cover the first guy asked me if this looked like the sort of kit I'd need.  Which was not what I was expected.

The newly revealed pile was dominated by a couple of oxygen tanks, but there were a couple of wetsuits, hefty looking belts and harnesses with weights attached, a helmet, three pairs of flippers, and beside all that a winch with a two inch cable furled round it.  What to say?  I looked at the guy asking the question.  I looked at the expectant faces of the other two.  Nothing, no clue that this might be some kind of joke, or test or whatever it could possibly be.

"What do you want me to do with it?"  They looked at one another.

"Dive of course.  And bring stuff up."

"Dive?  Like diving down underwater kinda dive?"

"Well where else would you dive?"

"I don't know, I guess nowhere, but I've never dived so I wouldn't know."

"We asked for experience.  What are you doing here if you can't dive?"

Well... I thought it must be a typo.  That you were looking for a van driver.  You know.  And I've driven vans for years.  I didn't know there was such a thing as a Van Diver."

"I told you so."  This, sharply, from the woman.  "You pair of divvies."  The guys looked at each other, they looked at the woman.

"Well we need someone to dive down and look inside those vans and bring stuff up, so what else would you call them?"  This wonderful bit of logic from Guy 1.

"Aye, what else could you call them?"  Guy 2 chipped in, sounding aggrieved.

"It's just a diver we need.  A diver to go and look for things.  And we should have said we've got all this kit they could use."  Scathing from the woman.

"Wouldn't they need to know what sizes you had too?" I asked, not wanting to be left out.

They all stared.  Unhappy that I'd dared break into their private disagreement.  

"What do you know about it?  I thought you weren't a diver?" from the woman, who, more and more, appeared to be taking charge of the situation.

"Well, I'm not, but it's just sense, isn't it?  There must be different sizes of kit cause there'll be different sizes of diver person."  I have no idea where 'diver person' came from.

They pondered on this revelation for a bit, before Guy 2 said "He might be right Janice."  They hadn't really thought about this much.

"What is it you're trying to get up, and where is it?" I asked, hoping to be helpful.

"Why the fuck do you need to know?" snaps Janice.  The atmosphere chilled.

"I don't, I really don't, I just thought I might be able to help." I babbled, starting to feel worried.  "Probably best I get going anyway, as I'm not what you're looking for." and I headed for the door.

"Don't know any divers, do you?"

"No.  Sorry."  And I left them to it.