Day 205 - Hunger

 HUNGER

Prompt - Hunger : Write from the perspective of someone with no money to buy food.

She parked the car, took a long time switching off the engine.  Stupid, when every penny counted.  Sat with both hands tightly gripping the wheel.  Looked in the mirror.  Tommy looked back blankly.  She turned to face him, emptiness exchanging glances, marvelling at his ability not to cry.  Part of her wished he would, just so she could join in.  It would do her good, but she'd moved beyond tears in the last few days.

Turning back her hands went back to their places on the wheel, as if she were about to make a getaway.  As if she could escape, had choices, had a life beyond the one that now enclosed her, the walls that moved ever nearer.  If she stayed here, frozen in time, maybe... Maybe what?  Maybe nothing.  She was as she was, however it had happened.  Del leaving, redundancy, savings gone, benefits wrestled from the system, sanctioned for one day - one! - of missing out on her appointments when Tommy had been too sick to leave.  How quickly the money was sucked away, like the water swirling out of the bath she could no longer afford to run.  How it came down to most basic of choices - be cold or be hungry?  Let Tommy be cold or be hungry?  

Her GP gave her the referral.  She reached across to her bag and pulled out the piece of paper.  Use it and she'd have enough to be warmish, fullish, get through the days until the payments resumed.  She'd looked reluctant, he'd looked encouraging.  He'd looked at Tommy, saying the lad had to come before pride.  That pride had it's place, that true pride lay in caring, in surviving, in being smart enough to know when pride could withstand the knocks.

She looked back at Tommy.  He gurgled a smile.  He had hope, trust, the rest of the day ahead of him, and a tomorrow.  She forced a smile back, nodded, understood.  One more grip of the wheel.  One more breath as someone who coped?  No, she mustn't do that to herself.  The doctor had said that this was coping, that coping was taking help when you needed it, because maybe you'd be the one helping some day.  She got out of the car, put the child into his wonky pushchair, and walked into the Foodbank.