Day 187 - Longing

 LONGING

Prompt - Longing : Write about something you very much want to do.

Four years had passed and still he missed it.  At this time of year he'd have been checking the latest signing news, having chats about how the squad was shaping up, what our chances would be this time, how it had to be better than last year, didn't it?  Instead of which... nothing.  Nothing to discuss with fellow fans, no cause to be excited that September was approaching.

He longed for that excitement.  Longed to have something to look forward to.  To seeing the usual faces, sitting in his usual seat, the tattiness and chill of the place they affectionately called Freezerfield.  Or The Fridge of Dreams.  Because, even by ice rink standards, Murrayfield was bloody cold.  

But he only knew that from his memories.  Had tried going back once, to watch the Racers, but it didn't feel right.  Nice to see some friends, but the hockey was of such a poor standard, the atmosphere lacking, and he couldn't bring himself to forgive the rink management for the way they'd treated 'his' team.

He longed to see the Caps again.  To watch then skate out into the coloured lights, so a standing ovation.  To watch them line up and skate forward, one by one, to chants and cheers.  To watch them face off, battle for the puck, rush across the ice on narrow blades, sticks twisting in control, the shot from the point, the goalie's starfish.  They'd lose, more often than not, but that too was a part of the experience.  They were a bit shit, but they were his.  Ours.  They were the centre point of his life, and it had felt like a bit of himself had been cut away when it was announced they would no longer have use of the ice.

Four years.  He'd never found anything to replace it, didn't see many people, had begun to hate winter, once his favourite time of year.  It looked as if the Edinburgh Capitals would never be coming back, never skate again, never meet his needs for community and passion and belonging.  Only somebody with a huge amount of money - millions probably - could turn that around.  But who would?  If there were a fan that rich enough they'd have done something by now, wouldn't they?  It could only happen if somebody came by the money all of a sudden.

Today, for the first time ever, he was going to buy a lottery ticket.  Hope only cost a pound.