Day 126 - Alone

 ALONE

Prompt - Alone : Do you like to be alone or do you like having company?

As an only child who ended up spending a lot of time on my own I still find time alone to not only be important, but near essential.  A chance to go into my head, or read a book, or simply walk.  I lived alone for several years and at times that would get a bit lonely, but not really a problem.  I am able to amuse myself, and, in later life, am happy in my own company for long periods.

But the type of loneliness I hate most is the sense of being totally ignored in a roomful of people.  I'm someone who finds it hard to initiate conversations, or socialise generally.  The exception to that rule is when I've acted in some kind of professional capacity.  Acting is the right word, for I could effectively play the role of the socialite if I had a job title to hide behind.  But when I'm just me it's never been easy.  That has led me into hating parties, or large groups of people where I dont really know anyone.  So many times I seem to have found myself standing against a wall, trying not to drink too fast, wishing i could be somewhere else.

Being alone is not the same as being lonely.  I would much rather be by myself than have to feel lonely in a room full of others.