Day 100 - Normal

 NORMAL

Prompt - Normal : What does normal mean to you?  Is it good or bad to be normal?

A dictionary definition of normal say it's "conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected".  But who defines 'usual?  Or what's 'expected'.  I don't think you can use normal as an objective term, because everybody's idea of 'normal' is different.  It is, primarily, an objective evaluation, related to your own life experiences.

Of course it's possible to say that something is the the norm in a strictly mathematical sense, and from that say with some confidence that something is 'normal'.  But that's not how real life works.  There's been a lot of discussion lately about "the new normal", referring to what our society will look like, what our lives will look like, in the aftermath of trying to cope with the covid pandemic.  Everyone knows that things won't go back to how they were before, but trying to predict how that shapes the future is purely speculative - which won't stop us all doing it.

What we do know is that 'normal' changes, and is changing all the time.  What was normal to us in childhood may not be in later life.  What is normal in childhood is your own life.  I've seen people who were beaten or sexually abused when they were children say that as far as they knew at the time that was normal, that was what happened in everyone's home.  Have things changed with social media, where making direct comparisons is an easier thing to do?  I suspect not, as so much is still hidden within families, and some secrets still feel too shameful to discuss openly.  Because shame is normalised too.

But the same rules apply in more mundane matters.  As a child I'd often have Weetabix for my tea.  Did anyone else do the same?  I have no idea, but to me it was my normal.  What is normal in one life is alien in others.  I find it hard to imagine accepting the idea of servants as 'normal'.  But I suppose if it's something you're brought up with you wouldn't know any different, any better.  People learn to accept their own unhappiness as normal - often marriages wouldn't survive without being able to do so.  

As for wanting to be 'normal', what does that even mean?  It's really a way of trying to fit in to the perceived expectations of others.  If you're an introvert who doesn't want to be noticed, for fear of the embarrassment it causes you, then trying to be the same as others feels important.  In work it can be a way of seeming competent, or reliable, and suitable for promotion.  But how much damage does this urge to conformity do to people, and how much does the world lose through limiting self-expression?  In that respect our current society is so much healthier than it was, say, a century ago.  Look at photos of that time and there is so much conformity in styles of dress, and social mores.  We are able to express ourselves in more diverse ways now, and there's often an 'anything goes' vibe about being out in public.  Even better it has become possible for same sex couples to walk hand in hand along the street, something that would have been almost impossible when I was growing up, for the possible consequences of violence, or at the very least verbal abuse, being directed at the couple.  

None of which has really taken me anywhere in terms of trying to argue a position.  Except for one disgracefully trite thought - you should always try to be your own normal, not the one others expect of you.