YOUR MUSE
Prompt - Your Muse : Write about your muse - what do they look like? What does your muse do to inspire you?
Is that where I'm going so wrong?
Although I have written a daily diary for more than forty five years now, which, I guess, qualifies me as 'a writer' of sorts, I have wanted to be a 'proper' writer', off and on, for most of that time. With little result. Is the lack of 'a muse' the real reason?
I think not. It's more down to the lack of (good) ideas; the inability to make time to sit and write; and my outstanding ability to daydream, procrastinate, and be extremely lazy. So all I have to show for those forty five years are a few (very few) completed short stories and poems, a much larger quantity of unfinished pieces, and a few pathetic ideas which never come to anything. I am not, never have been, the 'writer' I have always wanted myself to be. And now, approaching sixty five years old, it feels easier to simply accept that.
And yet the past almost-decade has seen me write more than at any time in my life. And, for the first time, put my writing out into the public domain. Few see it, even fewer will have actually read it, but at least I can say it's out there. After so many decades as a feckless wannabe that counts as some kind of achievement.
Was there a muse that affected this (relatively minor) change? Probably it's the 750words site, and the incentives (streaks and badges) it provides. I found out about it through a woman I followed on Twitter, and latterly Instagram, who goes by the handle of hallirackit (who may, or may not, be called Fiona) and mentioned it in one of her tweets. I was intrigued and had a look a the site, signed up and... started writing. So maybe the mysterious Fiona (?) is my real muse?
My output was non-fiction. Commentary on the world, thoughts and musings, subjects I felt I wanted to explore. I drew up a long list of topics and got on with them. Watching my streak grow day by day, and accumulating the various badges for meeting an assortment of targets, provided different challenges. And then one day I wrote something about poppy day that I felt was worth sharing. And on the twelfth of September 2012 I posted for the first time on The Litter Bin of the Mind. A terrible name for a blog really. And, even now, that post has only ever had thirty page views. But it is there, and was followed by others. Quite prolifically for the first couple of months, much more slowly thereafter, and my output has varied from fifty two posts in the year of 2015, to a poor fifteen in 2018. But through all that time, and still continuing, I have managed to post at least once in that blog for every calendar month along the way. The muse in this case being my own pride in keeping record going! And a couple of times my posts have gone a bit viral, with the page view figures into four figures - a rare occurrence but thrilling when it happened.
I have also started a blog of mini reviews of all the live gigs and plays I got to, and have included films. That's been fun, albeit pressured at times. Again there are few people who read it, but it gives me another goal in life.
But I still want to write fiction, and my efforts in that direction came to little. The odd poem maybe, but no hint that I would ever be able to write anything longer. The idea of a novel, or at least a novella, still appeals, if only I could be... a different person? I don't think it's just a muse I lack!
So I have moved on, to a new muse, the one that has prompted today's words. My 365 Project is based on a list of Creative Writing Prompts I found on the web after a bit of searching. Having had so much free time in 2020 I thought I'd try to use it in 2021 to help improve my writing, and bring out some creativity. And, in part, it's worked. Although today's piece is very prosaic, and some of the non fiction days have produced real rubbish, I have written quite a few short (very short) stories, a small number of poems, and three or four non fiction items that made their way on to Litter Bin. I have felt more inspired, I suppose, because I have managed to come up with so many ideas for characters and scenarios, more than ever before. The 365 project has been my best attempt yet at becoming 'a writer' in the sense I want to.
How it will pan out for the rest of the year I do not know. It has not been too difficult to keep it going during the lockdown months we've been through so far. But that will change from April, just a little, and then, hopefully, more and more as the year goes on. There will be places to go, maybe even things to do. Maybe even shows to review! We, I, might leave Edinburgh sometimes. All of which will put more time pressures on my writing. There will still be the pressure to write 750 words every day. Within that I will try to do something in response to the Creative Writing Prompts, my 365 Project. And there will still be the pride motivation of posting on Litter Bin at least once a month. It will be less easy that it is now, but I know I can do it.
But will the quality suffer in that new scenario? Will I find it even harder to come up with ideas? And, the really big question, what happens with my writing in 2022...?
A couple of days ago I used an old idea for one of the new prompts. It was a story I first thought up at least twenty years ago, about a man who discovers the ability to be in two places at once. As well as all the elements listed above (laziness, procrastination etc) I was held up by being unable to solve the technical problem of how he came by this ability. Writing a quick, short, version of the story helped me solve that, and suddenly it feels like something I should be writing. Something with the potential to be much longer than anything I've written previously. So whe, how, do I make the time to try to start writing that?
I have not come close to writing anything of that envisaged length before. So I should revisit some of my unfinished stories, and tackle one of the longer ones, see if I can see it through to an end. And then look at my duopolic man (title?!).
Is there a muse who can help me? Anyone?
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